Jim’s Five Fantastic Tips for Online Dating Success

Whether you have been on a million dates with people that you met online, or are still preparing for your first, we can all do with a little bit of advice when it comes to the dating world!

    1. BE READY

Online dating can be enormously rewarding but also stressful.  Before venturing into the dating pool you need to ask yourself the question “Am I ready”?  For Nolongerlonely I always advise users to have a good conversation with a therapist or trusted advisor before venturing into online dating.



My best advice is to stand out. Be specific and share things about yourself that will make someone take notice. Instead of generic likes/dislikes tell a story. Highlight interesting life events and accomplishments.



Don’t just sit back and wait for the messages to show up in your inbox.  Browse the site, read profiles in-depth and send someone a message. Flattery is as strategy as long as you are sincere about it.



While it is possible you will immediately meet the person of your dreams, odds are it will take some time and of course there are no guarantees.  Online dating allows you to be selective in seeking others that match criteria you value, which increases the odds of a good connection and a great thing about Nolongerlonely is you never have to worry about disclosing your condition.


  5. BE SAFE

We at Nolongerlonely are committed to your safety.  Every incoming profile is heavily scrutinized and the eyes and ears of our community serve as an effective line of defense.  That said you still need to exercise common sense when using the site and to guard your personal information until a significant level of trust has been attained.


Have you signed up for No Longer Lonely yet? No? What are you waiting for? It’s free and only takes a couple minutes! Check stigma at the door. Everyone on the site has some kind of mental illness.

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Recent comments from site users encapsulate what I’m trying to achieve better than I could…

You made a nice update to the overall site within the past year or so. It’s looks fresher and seems more user friendly.

These people are our peers, and by extension of that, our friends. Everyone is doing the best that they can, and I respect that.

Continue reading “Testimonials”

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More than Romance, We Just Need People

I recently received a testimonial that brought me to tears.  It reinforced my conviction about the vital need for human connection and also the importance of stepping beyond our comfort zone.  I created this website to facilitate stories like this.  I’ll include it here (with names changed).  Its power is self-evident.

Its been a while since I’ve logged on, but I think about NLL pretty much daily.

The site hasn’t brought me the love of my life (yet?) but has been instrumental in some really good friendships.

Continue reading “More than Romance, We Just Need People”

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Movie Review: Split

I just watched the film “Split” on DVD fully expecting it to be another insensitive Hollywood swipe at depicting mental illness.  I emerged with mixed feelings.  The film abides by a familiar abduction plot, cute teenage girls locked away in some basement dungeon with a deranged warden and complicated motives.  M. Night Shyamalan (wrote and directed the film) is known for injecting a sense of unease and a bit of twisted suspense in his films.  He does put his personal stamp on this one but the plotting is fairly standard.  What distinguishes “Split” is our villain—a man with a serious mental illness.  The trained eye easily diagnoses Dissociative Identity Disorder, however an explicit classification doesn’t come until near the end of the film.

Continue reading “Movie Review: Split”

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Making the case…

The question I get asked most often regarding Nolongerlonely (other than why haven’t I
found a wife on the site yet) is whether it is a good idea to pair together two people with a mental
illness. The arguments/hesitations usually fall along two separate lines of thinking: one that
envisions an emotional Armageddon and another that foments eugenic reasoning. Whether the
perceived problem is in the neuropathways of the brain or in the genetic code, both objections
reflect a cynical outlook that doesn’t take into account the benefits of a relationship with the
common underpinning of a psychiatric diagnosis.

Continue reading “Making the case…”

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